Help for the CD COW

This is me, the CD COW (or maybe a cow somewhere in Ireland).
I've never been very good about asking for help. I'd rather risk time, energy and sanity than bother someone with a question or request. Why? It's probably too late to ask "why". What is important is that I get over it because after three years of bumming around in a Masters course and one short-term full-time job and sporadic freelance work, I recently piled a mound of job descriptions on my flimsy plate and I've just now realized it's about to fall through.

This past Monday, I started working full-time as a Creative Director of Communications, Outreach and Worship at my church. Yes. The acronym for my job title is CD COW. That's sort of funny... but not entirely funny when I remember that I over-estimated my superwoman capabilities and underestimated my fatal flaws and miscalculated the number of hours in a week. This new job + freelance copywriting gigs + playing for worship for our band-led and the occasional classic praise service + small group leadership promoting responsibilities + my own small group I'd like to get going + youth group activities + new house projects adds up to an interesting situation if I don't start asking for help.

I'm trying to be realistic at the outset. I know that I'll give 100% to my jobs, and that will leave nothing for my family. That will leave nothing for my friends and community. That also leaves nothing for my writing goals that I've slowly let go over the past few months. I wonder what else I would sacrifice?

What have you sacrificed because you haven't asked for help?

1 comment:

joanna said...

oh this rings so true and deep my friend. i've sacrificed so much over the years because of my refusal to admit i can't do it on my own... lately it's been at the cost of my mental/physical heath.

there's a beautiful song old that's very popular in churches in the Commonwealth (that somehow didn't cross the big lake), that i heard for the first time at our Servants gathering in the philippines... the last line of the first verse spoke volumes to my heart:

"brother, sister, let me serve you
let me be as christ to you
pray that i may have the grace to
let you be my servant too."

i guess it's just that... grace.

grace begins when we are humble enough to let Christ serve us by washing our feet. grace continues when we are humble enough to let others wash our feet as well.

*sigh* aste aste amra bhujbo. (slowly slowly we will understand)