Things I Learned in Denver

I went to Denver last weekend to watch my brother play in his last two league games of the season. They're going to play-offs, which is exciting. I also had a job interview in the Springs, and it looks like I'll be doing some marketing writing for a book publishing company.

I also learned a few things:

1. It may look cool, but fans simultaneously throwing baby powder up in the air after their team gets introduced is the worst possible use of a toiletry substance. Especially after it disperses into the crowd's noses and on the basketball court so that the crowd has to yell at the refs to have the sweepers sweep it off the floor but it's still everywhere so they have to sweep every time out and break between quarters but the players still slip and fall on their faces throughout the entire game. Yeah, not so cool.

2. I'd never had a massage by a male massage therapist. Mostly because the massage therapists that have been recommended to me have been women, but also because it's kind of awkward to lay on a table with only a thin sheet between you and a strange man touching your body. But this weekend my mom's therapist recommended a man who does hot stone massages. It was amazing and I felt like I was floating afterwards. But I quickly learned that it doesn't help the relaxation process if I:

a) imagine him as a matronly woman (because it just wasn't possible), or
b) imagine him as my husband. That last idea lasted about a millisecond before I realized what a big mistake that would be.

3. After a little maturity happens, younger brothers really are fun to shop with.

4. If you don't know how to use your phone all that well because it's new, the time to learn how to set flight mode is not when the plane is taxiing and the stewardess reprimands you and hovers above you waiting as you try to figure it out while the rest of the plane stares at you.

5. After two turbulent flights that felt like wooden roller coaster rides, and after the woman next to me yelled, "I've flown all my life and haven't ever had a flight this bad!" I put the Drammamine chemists on my people-to-thank-in-heaven list.

6. Turbulence is the best possible way to get a quiet Christian afraid to soil her I'm-not-one-of-those-preachy-Jesus-freaks-but-a-cool-Christian reputation to form a "salvation in case of crash" plan. Mine looks eerily similar to Seinfeld's final episode in which Elaine starts to yell to Jerry, "I love yoooooooou...." and then the plane uprights itself and she finishes her sentence with "...United Airlines." Mine is more like, "Jesus loves yooooooou!" but I whimped out exactly like Elaine.

7. It's nice to come home and be reminded that my husband needs me.

1 comment:

Jen Mc. said...

I love #6! :) (And have MANY thanks for the makers of Dramamine, myself! Oh, to travel the world hacking in amazing places...).