Frankly, it's embarrassing to yawn in conversations. Because it looks like *gawp* you're tired and *stretch* just plum bored with the unidentifiable slurrings sliding through slippery lips. But it's not that I'm bored or tired (usually). A few days ago I learned that yawning is caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. In other words, yawns are a sign that I'm not taking the deep, succulent breaths I should be taking.
This morning I wondered if my oxygen intake says anything about the rest of me . . . the fact that I don't take advantage of the surplus floating around me, that I don't grip the resources God is holding out to me and run with them fearlessly. A book I'm reading combined with specific prayers and a Nooma video (produced by Rob Bell, Mars Hill Bible Church) were recently all in cahoots and I was convicted by how often I forget God's faithfulness. And how often I forget to breathe him deeply into my life for the daily joy I need to keep going. I admit, it's hard to persist with a smile on my face when I don't have a job and when I'm in a new place without many friends-- or even when I do have all of that, it's easy to get caught up in the frustrating details of keeping it all going.
But today a fresh wind blew over me and I sucked it all in to the ends of my toenails. He is a God of peace, and I can be content in every situation because I see this world through His filter. Doesn't mean that situations change immediately or exactly how I want them to (I'm still jobless) but it does mean that it's out of my hands and in His, and that the result is always more satisfying. I can breathe much more deeply.